Guys and Girls…Are we really different?

If you read my post about how dating is difficult for girls,  https://acowintheocean.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/if-you-want-to-make-me-a-sandwich-i-want-to-eat-your-sandwich/

then it would be easy to feel like this cute little poster I found. I’m sure I could find a similar sentiment from the guys about girls. The thing is, dating for guys can be difficult too. I tend to think that it’s just girls that have a hard time with putting themselves out there and being left hanging but really it’s not any easier for guys…its just different.

They probably don’t want us to know it but guys analyze things as much as girls do. ” Its been 10 minutes and she still hasn’t texted me back, Is she trying to think of a nice way to say no?”

“She mentioned that she loves rock climbing and she knows I go all the time was she hinting that she wanted me to take her?”

After all guys are still human. I know we wonder sometimes but they are. Guys have a really hard job too. They are supposed to decode our flirting, determine when “I’m busy” really means I’m busy and when it means “I’m not interested.” They have to put themselves out there to ask us out, spend money on dates, and then wonder if we are going out with them because we are too scared or shy to say no or if we really are truly interested. Its got to be hard, In talking with my guy friends I have found a new appreciation for what guys go through with dating.

I have a friend, he is a really nice guy. He is sweet, kind, super up beat and happy. An over all good guy. He asked a girl out the other day… it took him several weeks to get up the courage to ask. He started out by trying to start a conversation with her at a church function. He failed…five times. That can hurt. failed attempts at conversation can be painful. He attended a dance hoping she would be there in spite of the fact that he hates dances. She wasnt there. He attended a lecture hoping to see her there, she was and he couldn’t manage to find a chance to speak with her.

Finally he went for the last desperate attempt and called her up directly and asked her out.

Her answer was “We’ll see.”

I think for guys that is the equivalent of getting asked out by text for a girl. It just should never happen. At te very least a girl should be able to say either yes or no. “We’ll see” is just a low blow.

This same guy took a girl out only to find that she talked non stop about herself and he couldn’t get a word in edgewise. What was worse is that when he said “So I love applebees so I thought we could go there for dinner.” She said “I hate applebees”

When he said I love baseball!” She said Oh gosh I think it’s the lamest sport”

Everything he liked she hated, everything he thought she had a different opinion. In short the date was awful and he ended up resorting to the 811 tactic.

The 811 for those of you who need clarifying, is when a guy will text a friend 811 while on a date which is code for “call me with an emergency so that I can end my date early.” And girls don’t even pretend to be offended you know we have our equivalent ways of helping each other out of situations that we don’t want to be in. We can’t begrudge them their simple 811.

So I guess I learned a few things

1.) Guys and girls aren’t so different after all

2.) Dating can be hard whether you are a guy or a girl

3.) Since we are all just human beings who all want the same thing…to find someone to love. Maybe we can help each other out and with a little understanding, a little honesty, and a willingness to take a risk we can find a way to have a bit of fun in this whole dating adventure.

Oh yeah and I also learned that if I’m on a date with a guy who suddenly gets an emergency phone call I’ve probably just been 811’d

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Obsessive about Blogging?…Not Me!

We think we grow up and become mature sophisticated adults. Really I think we don’t our interests and challenges simply change.

When I was a kid I was so impatient. I was the kid that would ask are we there yet? Every two minutes until my brothers would threaten to tickle me till I cried or hold me down and dangle that long slimy gubber over my face, if I didn’t be quite. I was that kid who counted the pennies in my piggy bank several times a day to see if there were still the same number there.

Im still that way. I still check the fridge several times within an hour to see if there is anything there that wasnt before. I still get super impatient about… well lets be honest pretty much everything. And I find myself checking my blog stats and then refreshing after just a few minutes to see if there are more. Its like ive gotten greedy about views. I don’t mean to be but seeing that number go higher and higher and break previous records is somewhat exhilarating.  I just had my first 100 + view day. It made my day. And now I sit here wondering, am I really a blogger who blogs about blogging? Does that make it official…I am really truly a die-hard blogger?

Lets look at the facts.

1.) I find myself thinking in everyday situations and conversations “Hey I’m gonna write a post about that.”

2.) I’m obsessed with becoming Freshly Pressed. Ok so maybe not obsessed but I have a secret desire to one day see a post of mine freshly pressed, I read the other FP blogs and think, what do they have that I don’t? I look at the intimidating number of blog posts on wordpress and shudder as I think of my blog being just one of many, How will they ever find me to give me the credit I deserve?

3.) I am excited to come home from work to check my views. Often its the first thing I do when I come in the house. I promise I do have a life, it’s just that well…I guess there is no excuse for the slightly OCD way in which I watch my stats.

4.) I love comments! I get that email letting me know that I have a comment to moderate and I get so excited! I might go into an adrenaline overdose if I did ever get freshly pressed and got a lot of comments.

5.) I know what the Versatile Blogger award is…and I want one!

6.) I look longingly at other posts that have dozens if not hundreds of comments and I get a little envious

7.) I find myself making lists about things I want to do on my blog. But then I make lists about everything so maybe that one doesn’t really count.

8.) I read articles and other blogs about blogging

9.) I’ve taken to staying up WAY to late reading random blogs

10.) Actually I think that’s it! And since I couldn’t even come up with 10 symptoms of being a die-hard blogger I guess I can safely assume that I am just like everyone else out there. Or at least, in regards to blogging.

 

 

 

If you want to make me a sandwich…I want to eat your sandwich

I think girls have an incredibly difficult job when it comes to dating. We are supposed to sit by demure and pretty, flirting just enough to instill some confidence that we will say yes and not too much as to be considered forward.

We are to smile, laugh at their jokes, touch them playfully and generally send an over all message that we are interested…assuming of course that we are. Then if they get the message, and if they are interested in us…they might ask for our phone number. Or they might not.

If they do ask for our phone number they might actually call us…or they might not.

When you think about it, it really is no wonder that girls get the reputation for over analyzing things. “Was that text sent with a smiley face or an exclamation point.” It could make all the difference.

We are constantly left wondering,

I have a dear friend who went on a boating trip. She really only knew one person there so when she met this incredibly attractive man and starting flirting with him she really hoped he would ask for her number. The day was going great, the sun was warm on their skin, the water was cool and refreshing. She was flirting with him…he was flirting with her and boasting about how he made the best sandwich ever.

“I’m not sure i’m convinced” she said with a coy smile

“Well than I might just have to take that as a challenge” he answered back. She was quite sure he would suggest they get together so he could prove his culinary prowess to her but just at that moment a rope caught in the propeller and he went diving to see if he could undo the damage. During his struggle with the rope he cut his hand and his friend took him to the hospital to get stitches.

He never got her phone number and since they didnt know any of the same people she figured she would never see him again.

The following week she was at church and as she was standing in the hallway who should she see but mister sandwich boy.

Excited to see him again, and thinking that perhaps fate had given her another chance…but also in a terrible hurry since she was supposed to be teaching the lesson in just a few seconds, she rushed up to him and stammered…

“If you want to make me a sandwich, I want to eat your sandwich.”

The words were no sooner out of her mouth than the reality of what she had just said hit her and in the awkwardness she mumbled a few words about how she had to go and went to teach her class.

“I want to eat your sandwich..” A common phrase in our house now whenever we want to tease her about her aggressive flirting. In reality we all sympathize. Its hard being a girl. Its hard waiting. Its hard putting yourself out there and waiting to see if some guy is going to pick up on it. Its hard being left to wonder what he is thinking and why.

I went to a dance this weekend. There was a slow song and they announced that it was ladies choice. I wasn’t about to ask a guy, I hate ladies choice. But then as I was looking around for my friends this guy walked toward me. He was buff, he was good looking, and he was almost past me. Before I even knew what I was doing I asked him to dance. We danced and then we talked. And after awhile when another slow song came on we danced again. It was nice. He was interesting. turns out we have some mutual friends.

I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. I wouldn’t mind going out on a date with him. If he wanted to make me a sandwich… I would eat his sandwich. But I have done my share of waiting and wondering what a guy is thinking and if he is going to do something about it. So I will not think about it. And while I am busily not thinking about it I will enjoy another new day. I will not text our mutual friends to see what they have to say about him…I will not try to manipulate a situation where I know I will see him again. Who knows maybe I will just go to the kitchen and make my own sandwich!

How’s my Face! (An Ugly Photo Blog)

So after the weepy, feeling down on my luck post from last week I thought that this week I wanted to do something to produce a few laughs. One of the things that my friends and I have done that always make us laugh is the ugly photo contest. So I thought I would share a few winning photos with you. Enjoy!!!

Squints??? I think he may be about to take a dive for the love of an elusive life guard.

Two enthusiastic thumbs up!