Discrimination Against Children From Same Sex Marriages? What Is The Church Thinking?


imagesActually I don’t like to say what someone else was thinking since clearly I couldn’t possibly know. And since I haven’t personally spoken with the twelve or the first presidency about this I honestly couldn’t say. But I can tell you that this ISN”T uncharacteristic of the church. This isn’t NEW or even DIFFERENT from what people should expect. (all things that I have seen a lot on Facebook lately) Let me tell you why. Most people may not be aware but the EXACT same limitations have been in place regarding children from polygamist families for many years. Now having come through that process myself I can say that these guidelines are in place for a good reason.

To begin with, let’s make a few assumptions. Lets assume that the teachings of the church are true and as part of that lets assume that same-sex marriage is contrary to God’s laws. ( I guarantee you this was part of the thinking for the 15 men who made this decision) Let’s also assume that another teaching of the church that the spirit can not reside in the presence of sin is also true.

Now lets imagine that these guidelines were not in place. Imagine that you are a say fifteen year old living in a same-sex family. The missionaries come and teach you that your family is living in sin. The very foundation of your home is an abomination to God. As a fifteen year old that’s a lot to handle. So imagine that you actually believe the missionaries and decide that you want to be baptised. That puts a strain in your family that no fifteen year old should ever have to deal with. Your church, your religious beliefs are saying one thing, your family another and you are caught in the middle without the option of leaving home. Now I realize that  conversion to the LDS church or really any church for that matter would put many people in the same position. The key here though is that this is a pretty MAJOR part of your life. And you shouldn’t be put in that kind of position until you are truly old enough to deal with the consequences. I think 18 is the earliest something like this could be handled. Legally its the earliest that you could make the choice to live a different lifestyle.

Imagine you have just been given the gift of the Holy Ghost but your ability to enjoy that gift is hampered by the fact that you are constantly surrounded day and night by “sin” Imagine your religion tells you to honor and obey your parents and in the same breath tells you your parents are living in sin.

On the other hand imagine you are a member of a same-sex couple. Your child (who is not yet even 18) is being approached by missionaries who are teaching them that you are living in sin, that your lifestyle is offensive to God. I can tell you that I would FREAK OUT on those missionaries. I may even file a law suit. Either way they have NO right coming into my home and teaching MY children those kinds of things.

Looking at it from that perspective I would say that the LDS church’s position on this issue. Is not only typical of the church, it is brilliant, it is kind, and it is absolutely the right decision. If a person from such a family wants to join the church once they are legally an adult, ready to live on their own and take on the consequences of their actions then the church can give them a green light. Before then its NO for a very good set of reasons. I also love that the church gives any person who was a child in these or similar circumstances a chance to meet with a member of the 12 before baptism. They need a little something extra, they need the personal touch of that meeting, they need a chance to have their questions answered and their hearts touched by the men we sustain as prophets, seers and revelators. I love that the church offers this kind, loving, supportive set of guidelines. And I am glad they were in place for me.

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12 thoughts on “Discrimination Against Children From Same Sex Marriages? What Is The Church Thinking?

  1. Ben says:

    Wow you clearly live in a bubble. Let me show you a family who is exposed to sin all the time. It is a family where one parent is either active or in the church. The kids grow up exposed to “sin” all the time. I think your article needs work with a harsh dose of reality.

    • diddadowrite says:

      Thanks for your comments Ben. I can understand someone not agreeing with my perspective, thinking that perhaps it is poorly written or even not clearly thought out. I’ve been guilty of all those things but one thing that you can not say about me is that I live in a bubble. Geographically, I have lived in Utah, Arizona, Missouri, Alaska, Japan and Uganda. From a religious perspective, I am a former polygamist turned Mormon who married a former Muslim turned Mormon,(AND he is black and I used to be racist!) I have family and close friends that are catholic, methodist, non religious but very spiritual, atheist, born again, muslim and probably more that I cant even remember. Culturally speaking, I have friends that are openly Gay, some that are bi sexual and some that probably still don’t know themselves. I have friends that our devout Latter Day saints and some that have been excommunicated. I used to be the kind of girl that felt proud that I could down 8 shots of whiskey on an empty stomach without losing my head and now I can say I haven’t had a drink in 11 years. I have very close friends and family who drink, smoke, and do drugs. I’ve been to more funerals than most people do in a life time. So there are a lot of things you can say about me but living in a bubble is not one of them.

      • B2 wardie says:

        I love your post. Having grown up in polygamy as well, I was trying to figure out who you are. I can’t see any identifying clues So if it is okay, I will ask for a clue. Does your first name end with an ‘E’ and your last maiden name end with an ‘N’?

      • diddadowrite says:

        haha yes! Now I am curious who you are?

  2. B2 wardie says:

    Guess. This is fun. I know you can do it. We know each other B2 wardie is the clue. My first name ends with an ‘N’ and last name with a ‘D’.

    • diddadowrite says:

      Ok I’m thinking through this but you got to know I’m totally lost. So it sounds like we know each other personally? I’m assuming you are a second warder based of your user name. The last name ending in a D should be a huge clue because I’m not coming up with any names so far. Give me a little more?

  3. Andrea Reichwald says:

    How would you respond to a mother in this scenario: A woman marries a man in the temple, time passes, they have children, raising them in the church. One day the husband tells her he is gay, that he has always known it but tried to do the right thing and married a woman in the temple. He cannot go on in the marriage and they divorce. The couple share custody of their children who they continue to raise in the church. After time the ex husband finds a partner and they live together. Children still go to church every Sunday, they have family home evening every week, pray every morning and night, sing primary songs together on car trips and attend baptisms of all their friends, anxiously waiting for their special day to be baptized. Then this policy is made public. How do you respond to this mother and how does she explain to her children (at next Saturday’s baptism service of their good friend) that they can’t be baptized? How do the children explain to their friends why they aren’t going to be baptized?

  4. Now I’m curious and I have no idea who you two are. 🙂 excellent post and rebuttal Sister Diddadowrite.

  5. Also… I may not have all the facts but I do believe that the new policy refers to children living in a same-sex household exclusively. Thank you for laying out that scenario, Andrea. It will be interesting to find out the answer.

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