Signs of a Crazy Psycho Date

Image

I went on a couple of dates this weekend. I always thought I had nothing to lose by going on a date because even if its a bad date, at least it will make for a good story…

After this weekend, I think I will be a bit more particular. So after doing an analysis of all that made this date, less than fun this is what I learned.

My first mistake: Agreeing to go on a date when my gut feeling was that I would rather stay home with my senior citizen parents and watch old reruns of bonanza than go on a date with him.

His first mistake: Asking me on a date and then informing me that he doesn’t have a car and asking me to come pick him up.

My mistake: IN an effort to keep conversation going, talking about places in the world that I would like to travel.

His mistake: Telling me where he would take me if we went on a honeymoon.

My mistake: Agreeing to go on a date just because I didn’t want to say no to a Jazz game.

His mistake: Asking me every five minutes throughout the entire game if I was ok, if I was cold, if I was hungry, or if I was tired, and then commenting on how he wanted to take care of me. It was awkward, and a little overwhelming.

My mistake: Thinking that maybe if I suggested we get some ice cream he might stop asking me if I was ok. I thought he might just really want to do something for me.

HIs mistake: Letting his ice cream melt all over his hands and drip all over his pants and the floor.

My mistake: Slipping on the ice while we were walking back to the car.

His Mistake: Asking me if he could hold my hand. In my opinion you don’t ask. If you KNOW that she wants you to, just do it. If you don’t just leave it alone. But don’t ask.

My mistake: Getting on facebook after I got home.

His Mistake: Posting what an epic time he had with me and including my name in his status. And then messaging me trying to tie me down for a second date.

My mistake: Trying to let him down easy by telling him that I had a good time but I just didn’t see it going anywhere so I didn’t think we should go out again.

His mistake: Going postal on me and telling me that it was not very christ-like of me to judge him without giving him a chance, that his first mistake was taking me out in the first place, and that he regretted spending a single dollar on me.

At this point I ignored him and he continued to message me telling me that he wondered what his neighbors would think of the way I treated him, and saying that for a Mormon girl I sure play a good game.

At that point I unfriended him and blocked him on facebook. At which point he proceeded to send me text messages with scripture references telling me that you can’t judge the righteous and that you have to hold out and let the lord show you, and telling me that he knows what he did that freaked me out.

I woke up feeling as though I needed therapy. But I did learn that somethings are not even worth dealing with for the sake of a good story.

Fortunately for me, my date the following night was filled with genuine laughter, a good time, and watching a performance by one of my favorite musicians. I left feeling as though my faith in the dating world was somewhat renewed.

Advertisements

Its not me…its you

So far most of my dating stories that I have shared, the date has been bad because of me. I hate to say it but its true. My lack of experience and my background kind of set me up for failure on that one. This next story…well lets just say it wasnt me. In fact I was impressed with how my own abilities had grown and that I was able to handle this date as well as I did. Here is my version of what happened.

For this story lets call him Brian.

So I got a home from work one evening and had a voice mail from a guy in my ward. His name was Brian. It was a rather corny message asking me if I wanted to go on a date with him. Kudos to him for calling out of the blue and asking like that. I have to admire that kind of proactive dating behavior whenever I see it. So of course I said yes, I didnt know him well, I had seen him and talked with him a couple of times so I thought it would be interesting to get to know him better.

On the phone he told me he didnt want to tell me what we were doing as it was a surprise but to dress as if I were going to a barn…but a nice barn. How does one dress when going to a “nice barn?”

So I picked out my favorite pair of jeans and a nice sweater, since it was october and I was ready for him when he arrived to pick me up. We drove and talked for awhile and it wasnt too bad. Turns out his plan was to go to Thanksgiving Point to the animal farm. Really not too bad of an idea for a date. Except that it was october and all the animals were inside…staying warm…while we walked around in a drizzling rain. We went on a rather wet hay ride and he told me all about his family. Finally it was time to go and I was feeling pretty decent about this date. It hadnt been too bad.

When we got in the car he announced that for the “second part of the date” we would be going to his mission reunion.

I had never been to a mission reunion before, had no idea really what to expect, but it seemed like an odd thing to do on a date.

But we went. I didnt feel awkward until we walked in the door and was greeted by the wife of his mission president. “Brian, how nice to see you,” she said, is this your wife?

This was a scene that repeated itself quite a few times in the next two hours or so. Finally I settled myself on a couch in the living room and entertained myself by playing with a baby of one of the other men and talking to the babies mother. Brian had disappeared, off talking with his friends or something.

“How long have you and Brian been dating?” the mother asked.

“We aren’t” I said. “This is a first date.” And a last…I muttered under my breathe. The woman gave me a kind smile that said oh gosh one of those… Im sorry.

After awhile Brian returned and we left. It was about 10:30 PM when we got in the car. Since we were up little cottonwood canyon i figured it would take us about an hour to get back home. I could make it, I was on the home stretch.

“For the final portion of the date I thought we could drop by and see my parents, since they are in town” Brian announced.

What is this a marathon date of awkwardness? I wondered. So off we headed to the other end of the valley to the hotel near the Salt Lake airport to see his parents. Now I know what you are thinking…why didn’t you just tell him that you would rather go home? Well, you see that kind of thing takes, experience and practice, and confidence in dating. I had none of those, just a somewhat shaky, infantile exposure to the world of dating and I was simply pleased to be surviving the date without some major foux pas.

So when we walked in the hotel room door and saw his parents laying in bed, I tryed to pretend that every part of me was not shrinking with the awkwardness of it all and just went with the flow. In reality it wasnt that awful. His parents were nice and his little sister was funny. We visited with them for an hour or so and then we were finally and truly on our way home.

I tried my best to stay awake on the drive back, but it was so late and I was so tired, I know I nodded off at least a little and I just focused on trying to give an acknowledging uh huh every so often to hold up my end of the conversation.

When we got the the house Brian was still talking to me about something. I didnt know how to get rid of him so I allowed him to follow me into the house. We sat on the couch with him talking and me trying not to sound interested enough to encourage him to continue, without being rude. Finally I had a brillant Idea. We were sitting on the couch and I was kind of laying with my head on the arm of the couch. I just closed my eyes and decided to allow him to think I feel asleep.

After a few minutes he paused in his story long enough to say “you know what I mean?”

It was time to see if I could commit to my act. I lay there quietly focusing on breathing deeply and said nothing. He waited and still I said nothing. I was surprised by how long he sat there. Finally he stood and reached for the throw lying across the back of the couch. He covered me with it, turned out the light and left. I waited just long enough to be sure he was really gone and then I jumped up and ran to my room.

It felt like a successful date. Not marriage material thats for sure, in fact i knew that I wouldnt be going on another date with him. But I was so proud of how I had handled myself, and other than pretending to fall asleep I felt that I had acted like an old pro at the dating game. I went to bed happy.

Love at Lake Bonnevile

My most romantic date yet happened a little over a year ago at Christmas time. I wasnt expecting much because my boyfriend at the time wasnt the romantic type. He was your typical guy, really in to sports, politics, action movies etc. I am quite certain that the idea of planning something ahead of time was one that was new and strange to him.

During the first week of December I had gone on a cruise. Ryan (my boyfriend) and I had talked on the phone until the very last-minute that the ship sailed and I could no longer use my phone without racking up ridiculous charges. He loved cruises and kept telling me all the things that I needed to make sure that I did. The main thing he really wanted me to do was to go snorkeling. I had never been before, had only recently learned how to swim, and have always been a little phobic about water on my face. Since none of my family were willing to try it I knew I would have to do it on my own if I did. So I told Ryan that I wasnt going to try it on my own.

He begged me to just try it and told me over and over how much I would love it. I told him that maybe one day he and I could go snorkeling and he could show me how. I figured maybe one day if we got married and went on a cruise together or something than we could try it then. I never dreamed that he would find a way to take me snorkeling on Christmas Eve in Utah.

Several days before Christmas Ryan and I were cuddling and watching a movie.

“Are you working on Christmas Eve?” he asked

“No why”

“Can I take you on a date then?” I thought it was really cute that he was asking days in advance and in this way. It was very much not like him.

“Ok. sure” I said.

“I am going to need you all day” I was starting to get curious what he had up his sleeve.

“What are we going to do?”

“I can’t tell, you will just have to wait and see.” (just a hint here for the guys, girls love to be surprised. Ryan won major bonus points by keeping this a secret and even more by the flirtatious way he kept me guessing in the mean time.)

I let it go and was super excited to see what he had in mind. The day before our planned date he texted me. “Can you be ready to go at 7am” he asked. Of course I agreed and than I begged him for clues. “Well I can tell you that you wont be wearing much!” he told me. “Oh and bring some lettuce with you. We will need lots of lettuce.” Needless to say he had my full attention and I was more lost then ever.

He arrived early to pick me up and we started to drive North toward Salt Lake. When we turned on to I 80 headed west the only thing I could possibly think of was that we were going to Wendover. Ryan assured me that we were not. I didn’t have the first clue until we pulled into a little place called Sea Base.

Turns out there is a remnant of Lake Bonneville out near Grantsville Utah. This unique place has small but very deep ponds filled with all kinds of fish. Including Sting Rays and Sharks. You can go snorkeling or scuba diving and since they are covered you can even go in the winter.

Ryan and I changed into Swimsuits and spent the rest of the day feeding fish and keeping an eye out for the 10 foot shark. Later we showered off and then shivering just a little we climbed into the car and went to find something to eat. I couldn’t have been more impressed that Ryan had remembered our conversation about snorkeling and then done something about it. He had kept it a surprise and really built up the suspense and anticipation in the days leading up to it.

I will never forget sitting in that water, and looking at the man across from me, his hair dripping wet, goggles firmly attached to his face leaving him looking ever so slightly like a giant beetle, and thinking that he was about the sexiest man I had ever seen. I felt cherished in that moment and even though I had shied away from using the infamous L word with him up to this point I was sure thinking it.

Tell me about your most romantic date ever and you may win a date to Sea Base and dinner at a nearby restaurant. Email me your story @ diddadowrite@gmail.com. The person with the most comments or likes on their post at midnight on February 29th is the winner. See more details on the post Valentine’s day

Valentine’s Day

I remember the first Valentine I ever got. It was in second grade and I had never even heard of Valentine’s day before. I went to class one day and there were all these little envelops on my desk with little cards and hearts and stuff. I remember being really embarrassed that I didnt know what was going on and everyone thought I was crazy. I also wished that I had known in advance so that I could have returned the favor. My family never did holidays though and Valentine’s day certainly wasnt high on the list of things for them to inform me about.

In more recent years Valentine’s day became something to laugh about. Single awareness day… and then once I had a boyfriend and we celebrated our first Valentines Day together I thought it was kind of sweet. The other day my roommate told me the story that is speculated as being the beginning of Valentine’s day. I was touched by the beautiful story. Appearantly a roman emperor in an effort to keep the men forcused on being soldiers and fighting decided to ban all marriage. A priest by the name of Valentine secretly performed marriages in spite of the ban. He was got and sentenced to death. While in prison notes were passed from person to person requesting prayers on his behalf. The slogan of these notes was remember your Valentine.

In honor of Valentine’s day during the month of February I am looking for stories. This time I want romantic ones. So I am doing a contest. Send me your stories, your most romantic date, your love story, maybe the love story of someone you know a family member who’s story is particularly touching etc. Send me an email @diddadowrite@gmail.com with your story and encourage your friends to like your post. At the end of the month the person with the most likes and comments will win a fantastic date. So get your typing fingers warmed up and get prepared to share your stories.

Note: Seabase has graciously provided a gift certificate to the winner of this competition and will provide a days adventure, complete with snorkeling, feeding the fish, and some education about their facility. All you have to do is bring yourself, a date, and your snorkeling equipment. (If you don’t have any, Seabase will rent to you for a reasonable price.) Dinner for two will also be provided at a nearby restuarant. More details to follow on that.