Signs of a Crazy Psycho Date


I went on a couple of dates this weekend. I always thought I had nothing to lose by going on a date because even if its a bad date, at least it will make for a good story…

After this weekend, I think I will be a bit more particular. So after doing an analysis of all that made this date, less than fun this is what I learned.

My first mistake: Agreeing to go on a date when my gut feeling was that I would rather stay home with my senior citizen parents and watch old reruns of bonanza than go on a date with him.

His first mistake: Asking me on a date and then informing me that he doesn’t have a car and asking me to come pick him up.

My mistake: IN an effort to keep conversation going, talking about places in the world that I would like to travel.

His mistake: Telling me where he would take me if we went on a honeymoon.

My mistake: Agreeing to go on a date just because I didn’t want to say no to a Jazz game.

His mistake: Asking me every five minutes throughout the entire game if I was ok, if I was cold, if I was hungry, or if I was tired, and then commenting on how he wanted to take care of me. It was awkward, and a little overwhelming.

My mistake: Thinking that maybe if I suggested we get some ice cream he might stop asking me if I was ok. I thought he might just really want to do something for me.

HIs mistake: Letting his ice cream melt all over his hands and drip all over his pants and the floor.

My mistake: Slipping on the ice while we were walking back to the car.

His Mistake: Asking me if he could hold my hand. In my opinion you don’t ask. If you KNOW that she wants you to, just do it. If you don’t just leave it alone. But don’t ask.

My mistake: Getting on facebook after I got home.

His Mistake: Posting what an epic time he had with me and including my name in his status. And then messaging me trying to tie me down for a second date.

My mistake: Trying to let him down easy by telling him that I had a good time but I just didn’t see it going anywhere so I didn’t think we should go out again.

His mistake: Going postal on me and telling me that it was not very christ-like of me to judge him without giving him a chance, that his first mistake was taking me out in the first place, and that he regretted spending a single dollar on me.

At this point I ignored him and he continued to message me telling me that he wondered what his neighbors would think of the way I treated him, and saying that for a Mormon girl I sure play a good game.

At that point I unfriended him and blocked him on facebook. At which point he proceeded to send me text messages with scripture references telling me that you can’t judge the righteous and that you have to hold out and let the lord show you, and telling me that he knows what he did that freaked me out.

I woke up feeling as though I needed therapy. But I did learn that somethings are not even worth dealing with for the sake of a good story.

Fortunately for me, my date the following night was filled with genuine laughter, a good time, and watching a performance by one of my favorite musicians. I left feeling as though my faith in the dating world was somewhat renewed.

If you want to make me a sandwich…I want to eat your sandwich

I think girls have an incredibly difficult job when it comes to dating. We are supposed to sit by demure and pretty, flirting just enough to instill some confidence that we will say yes and not too much as to be considered forward.

We are to smile, laugh at their jokes, touch them playfully and generally send an over all message that we are interested…assuming of course that we are. Then if they get the message, and if they are interested in us…they might ask for our phone number. Or they might not.

If they do ask for our phone number they might actually call us…or they might not.

When you think about it, it really is no wonder that girls get the reputation for over analyzing things. “Was that text sent with a smiley face or an exclamation point.” It could make all the difference.

We are constantly left wondering,

I have a dear friend who went on a boating trip. She really only knew one person there so when she met this incredibly attractive man and starting flirting with him she really hoped he would ask for her number. The day was going great, the sun was warm on their skin, the water was cool and refreshing. She was flirting with him…he was flirting with her and boasting about how he made the best sandwich ever.

“I’m not sure i’m convinced” she said with a coy smile

“Well than I might just have to take that as a challenge” he answered back. She was quite sure he would suggest they get together so he could prove his culinary prowess to her but just at that moment a rope caught in the propeller and he went diving to see if he could undo the damage. During his struggle with the rope he cut his hand and his friend took him to the hospital to get stitches.

He never got her phone number and since they didnt know any of the same people she figured she would never see him again.

The following week she was at church and as she was standing in the hallway who should she see but mister sandwich boy.

Excited to see him again, and thinking that perhaps fate had given her another chance…but also in a terrible hurry since she was supposed to be teaching the lesson in just a few seconds, she rushed up to him and stammered…

“If you want to make me a sandwich, I want to eat your sandwich.”

The words were no sooner out of her mouth than the reality of what she had just said hit her and in the awkwardness she mumbled a few words about how she had to go and went to teach her class.

“I want to eat your sandwich..” A common phrase in our house now whenever we want to tease her about her aggressive flirting. In reality we all sympathize. Its hard being a girl. Its hard waiting. Its hard putting yourself out there and waiting to see if some guy is going to pick up on it. Its hard being left to wonder what he is thinking and why.

I went to a dance this weekend. There was a slow song and they announced that it was ladies choice. I wasn’t about to ask a guy, I hate ladies choice. But then as I was looking around for my friends this guy walked toward me. He was buff, he was good looking, and he was almost past me. Before I even knew what I was doing I asked him to dance. We danced and then we talked. And after awhile when another slow song came on we danced again. It was nice. He was interesting. turns out we have some mutual friends.

I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. I wouldn’t mind going out on a date with him. If he wanted to make me a sandwich… I would eat his sandwich. But I have done my share of waiting and wondering what a guy is thinking and if he is going to do something about it. So I will not think about it. And while I am busily not thinking about it I will enjoy another new day. I will not text our mutual friends to see what they have to say about him…I will not try to manipulate a situation where I know I will see him again. Who knows maybe I will just go to the kitchen and make my own sandwich!