I had an experience tonight that brought back some special memories. My husband took our baby for an hour or so tonight and let me just sit and play the piano. Its something I haven’t done in far too long. I was shocked at how much my fingers had forgotten. My heart and my brain wanted to play like not a day had gone by but my fingers seemed slow and rigid. As I played though it started to come back and I had a feeling that I’ve really missed. My cares and concerns, my aches and pains started to drift away as I got lost in old songs that I still somehow remembered.
As my husband and baby listened from the other room occasionally piping in with a comment it brought immense satisfaction and sweet memories of sitting in our living room in Aunt Hannah’s old house. (She had died and left her home to us but it would always be Aunt Hannah’s house.) I would play the piano and get lost in my feelings, in my hopes and dreams for the future, in the music itself, in the sweet feeling of feeling my fingers move effortlessly over the keys.
Then, my mother listened from the other room. I knew she was lying on the couch reading the newspaper. I could hear the pages turning and I knew she was listening. I would pick a song that I had practiced earlier in the day; one I knew she hadn’t heard me play before and I would play it waiting to hear what she would have to say about it. I always knew which songs she enjoyed and which ones she was just putting up with until I finished. Some times if I practiced a passage too many times over I would hear her sigh a little and I would switch to playing a song I knew she enjoyed like Breakers or Only You.
Sometimes I would get frustrated with a difficult passage and I would slam the key board with both hands and give up. Vilate…try it again I would hear her say from around the corner. Sometimes I would pound just to get a reaction out of her or to let her know I was annoyed at something. When my feelings where especially wound up and every song made me pound I would eventually give up and go soak away my cares in the tub.
I miss those days, and I will always be grateful to my mother for the part that she played in helping me to develop this talent. It was difficult to continue with it sometimes but she never let me quit and she always let me know how much she enjoyed hearing me play. It gave me a reason to practice and get better.
Those days are gone and now its my turn to be the mother and to foster those talents and others in my own children. But it felt good to go back tonight if only for an hour and enjoy the old songs and the old feelings. And even though my fingers fumble a little and trip over themselves when I try to play songs like Waterfall and All Of Me, the music and the memories will always be a part of who I am.
This photo was taken after a 10 piano concert. My favorite thing about this photo is that I had decided to ruin it by totally cheesing it up. Turns out everyone else had the same idea and all of our cheesy smiles look the same!